My girlfriend Erika is in Cannes, France right now. She gave me a call this afternoon which was a nice surprise. She exclaimed that French dudes were perverted. I thought it was just her stereotyping French men. Then her voice cuts out for a second and I hear a drunken man’s voice in the background saying “ No you...I loveee youuuuu “ in a heavy French accent. She responds “ NO DUDE. Get out of my face. I will punch you in the FUCKING face !” . Classic Erika.

A few weekends ago I found myself at a random gathering. My girlfriend was hanging out with some friends who knew a friend who knew another friend that lead me to me a random house in Santa Monica. Despite being tired I felt a bit of cabin fever coming on as I had been around the house all day.

I walked in to find my girlfriend and some of my other friends sitting at a table playing “7-11-Doubles”. A game which I happen to be a big fan of. There were some randoms there but I guess that is too be expected when you show up at a strangers house. There was some guy with a giant spike of hair on his head wearing an extra medium shirt and another dude with floppy ass hair. Like Zac Efron had a baby with Hugh Grant. I think he also had a lazy eye but that’s debatable. The floppy haired dude was annoyingly wasted. He didn’t understand how to play the game and kept having to drink because he just wasn’t listening to the rules. He slammed his hands on the table saying we were making shit up but that clearly wasn’t the case. He was also trying to get my girlfriend drunk which pissed me off.

After about 45 minutes my girlfriend and I had had enough of his retarded antics and left. On our way out we were saying goodbye to the people we knew at that house. Our host said thank you for coming and apologized about our new floppy haired friend..” Oh Ethan is on a TV show...The TV version of “10 Things I Hate About You”....”He’s Gregory Peck’s grandson so I guess he’s kind of famous”. We all regaled on what a classy dude Gregory Peck was and then agreed that Ethan was a dick face.