The top trend on Yahoo right now is Raven Symone.

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1. I listen to more AM radio than I have ever listened to in my entire life. I also like listening to radio morning shows now which I never really enjoyed. It's weird and it makes me feel old.

I kind of wish I had been in high school when Four Lokos was created. I am not sure why ...maybe it's that Jolt cola obsession back when I was in middle school.

I haven't posted in over a month. My bad, I know. Two girls at work who have a blog gave me the advice "Your blog needs to stay relevant!". Point taken ladies, you have inspired me to write. I like those girls but they always seem a bit too cheery about everything. Like if you told them they would have to come up with 10 new concepts while being held captive by Afghan militants they would shake your hand, exhale loudly/dramatically, grin and then post on their Twitter's that they are " Slaving the day away ! See you next year : ) ! " ! I think I am just being a grinch and probably want people to be a grizzly bear about work shit like I am . I feel like Mr. Wilson and they are my Dennis the Menace.

I've been getting spanked at work; absolutely dominated. At the end of the day I wonder where it's all leading like maybe I should be learning yoga and stop spending my days crushing hundreds of emails to only get a thousand in return . I guess it's two competing philosophies; one says hard work pays off in the end and the other says "stop and smell the roses" . I don't think either philosophy can win me over completely ; I'm too logical for each one completely I guess. You can't afford to stop and smell roses if you don't have the means to do it. Maybe I am just way too inside my head right now. And I am writing this while listening to different versions of Arcade Fire's "Wake Up". So just getting way too introspective right now . Anyways..I should have just invited Facebook and I could put this whole blogging thing to rest.

THE ROOTS & JOHN LEGEND covering "WAKE UP" ( For some reason even though you have John Legend and the Roots covering this song; it seems to have less soul to it than the original . Your thoughts? )
http://www.box.net/shared/lsp76709gq

1) Lots of Maui locals are angry as hell so try not to go by them too fast in your rented convertible red Mustang. They will follow your ass on their bike for as long as they can, peddling furiously while you watch them in your rear view mirror.

2) The road to Hana is not worth the brush with death you will endure. Imagine the scariest road you have ever driven on, multiply it by 10 then add really pretty scenery around it. If you aren’t the one driving it’s pretty great; waterfalls, black sand beaches, and exotic fruit stands abound. But I swear I thought we were going to get in a head on collision every 2 seconds on that damn road. Oh and if you aren’t sure of your driving skills then make sure and get the rental insurance on your car before you do the Road to Hana.

3) The food in Maui is delicious. It really didn’t matter where we were but every meal we had was excellent. The sushi at Sansei was the best sushi I have ever head. We ate there 3 times in the week we were there so you know we really liked it.

4) Horse back riding is not as cool as you think. People like to think it’s romantic to ride these stubborn beasts but for the most part it’s a painful reminder of why the horse went out of style and people now use automobiles. The first thing to tip me off that our 2 hour ride through the mountains was going to be a little trying was the fact that I had to wear pants...it is incredibly hot wearing jeans for 2 hours in Hawaii. It was like a leggy sauna. I also almost fell off my horse. My horse Shadow only wanted to stop and eat constantly. I would pull the reigns but he would look at me like he wanted to punch me in the face. Poor form Shadow!

5) Willie Nelson’s son has a really nasally voice.

6) The Grand Wailea spa/wellness center is one of the best places on earth.

7) Watching the show “Too Fat for 15” after being in the sun all day is a great way to unwind.

8) Be prepared to be asked if you just got married or are about to get married about 10 times a day if you are there with your girlfriend.

9) If you have to do any Luau there; you should do the Feast at Lele. Delicious and classy island times.

10) Every single beer there tastes delicious.

A sub par Monday . Sitting at work; Sigur Ros playing through the headphones while I look at old photos . It compliments the gardening I did this weekend and the new curtains I put up; metallic looking dark greens ones to be exact. 26 years old going on 46 years old. I am the dude at Wal Mart with his shirt up and belly out , waiting for someone to rub it. But no one will rub it. " Come on! Lady with the white purse! Just touch my damn belly. It's calling out your name"

It’s about that time again folks. That time of year where the air smells crisper, the temperature drop, and large burly men in spandex try to demolish each other. No this isn’t a gay fetish party to celebrate the Winter Solstice...It’s the start of the NFL season. What sets the NFL apart from any other sport is that drama of a season is a fast intense sprint. Each weekend new storylines emerge and new dramas unfold. Each game is important unlike baseball or basketball where you can drop a few games and still come out on top. Each Sunday is like a mini-Christmas for me where I roll out of bed, turn on the coffee maker, grab my laptop and head out to the couch for some good old fashioned American Football. I load my Fantasy Football page up and track my score while talking shit to my friends in the chat room. Yes, I agree this sounds nerdy as shit but dangit it’s fun as hell. Not sure why I needed to write this but I think the impending NFL season is just that exciting to me.

I recently moved into a single bedroom apartment after living with roommates since I've been out of my parents house many years ago. I was about to sign the lease to my new place when I hesitated and told my prospective landlord Helen that I needed to think about it for the night. She looked at me a bit quizzically but told me " That's fine, if you need to think about it, you need to think about it". The next day I told her I would be taking the place. I told her I had just been nervous and wasn't sure if this was the place for me but had finally realized this was the best I had seen in my range.

My girlfriend Erika is in Cannes, France right now. She gave me a call this afternoon which was a nice surprise. She exclaimed that French dudes were perverted. I thought it was just her stereotyping French men. Then her voice cuts out for a second and I hear a drunken man’s voice in the background saying “ No you...I loveee youuuuu “ in a heavy French accent. She responds “ NO DUDE. Get out of my face. I will punch you in the FUCKING face !” . Classic Erika.

A few weekends ago I found myself at a random gathering. My girlfriend was hanging out with some friends who knew a friend who knew another friend that lead me to me a random house in Santa Monica. Despite being tired I felt a bit of cabin fever coming on as I had been around the house all day.

I walked in to find my girlfriend and some of my other friends sitting at a table playing “7-11-Doubles”. A game which I happen to be a big fan of. There were some randoms there but I guess that is too be expected when you show up at a strangers house. There was some guy with a giant spike of hair on his head wearing an extra medium shirt and another dude with floppy ass hair. Like Zac Efron had a baby with Hugh Grant. I think he also had a lazy eye but that’s debatable. The floppy haired dude was annoyingly wasted. He didn’t understand how to play the game and kept having to drink because he just wasn’t listening to the rules. He slammed his hands on the table saying we were making shit up but that clearly wasn’t the case. He was also trying to get my girlfriend drunk which pissed me off.

After about 45 minutes my girlfriend and I had had enough of his retarded antics and left. On our way out we were saying goodbye to the people we knew at that house. Our host said thank you for coming and apologized about our new floppy haired friend..” Oh Ethan is on a TV show...The TV version of “10 Things I Hate About You”....”He’s Gregory Peck’s grandson so I guess he’s kind of famous”. We all regaled on what a classy dude Gregory Peck was and then agreed that Ethan was a dick face.

I was down in Hermosa Beach for my buddy Greg's birthday. We had just exited a bar down at the pier and were walking towards the liquor store near the main street. A small old Mexican women came up to us holding a bundle of red roses asking if we wanted to buy one. I said no thanks but my buddy was properly smashed and bought a $5 rose and handed it to me. He said it was because we were best buds. I thought it was nice in a drunken way but also thought that he should have held onto the $5 because I was pretty much going to toss the thing in the trash shortly after.

I was standing in the liquor store waiting for Greg to buy his cigarettes when two guys in line asked me about the rose I was holding. " Who is that rose for?" the shorter one asked. I said " it's for me". He asked again thinking I didn't understand what he was asking " No, who are you giving that to?" I said " No one, it's mine." I had a feeling these guys were trying to give me shit and I was very wary of them. They didn't look like much so I wasn't too worried.

The smaller one then asked me and another random person in line if we liked roses. I said no not really. He then went off on some random tangent about how he use to give roses out all the time and that they mean nothing to him. I was just shaking my head like " yes, good for you dick face." He kept going on about giving out roses and how they don't mean shit. He then re-assured us that he wasn't trying to be a dick but was just trying to talk to us.

We walked out of the store and I started talking to his other friend who then told me that this dude had been the Bachelor on that show called 'The Bachelor". I thought it was cool because of the random random nature of the encounter. My drunk friend kept talking to the Bachelor about God knows what. My other friend Darcy walked up a few minutes later, told Greg that we were going and then smashed the rose on his Greg's face. We then flagged a taxi and went home .

I’ve been working like a dog lately. I got moved to a new account and it instantly hijacked the last two weeks of my life into it’s hellish womb. I had been working quite late which made it pretty impossible to go to the gym after like I usually like to do. So I started going before work which I had tried before but never really had luck because in those waking moments of the morning sleep usually beats exercise.

The thing about the gym in the morning as there are more old-timers working out than at night . Old-Timers like to hang around the locker room. They like to read the paper naked in front of your locker and could care less about the fact that blow drying your balls with one leg up in front of everyone is not cool to do. Last week I encountered a new phenomena which got me even more wary of the gym locker room; Dudes using the sink to shave while they are naked. These dudes stand there shaving, brushing their teeth etc. etc. while they let their dongs touch the sink basin! I use that sink to wash my hands buddy! Get your shit off of that. Your junk is going to give my hands the exact opposite effect I want to have while using a sink.

MUSIC SELECTION BY DJMG

I moved desks at work this week. I sit next to my friend Mike now as well as our EP Sarah. I get to sit by the window and further from my boss . I'll take that as a small sign that I'm moving up in the world. They didn't tell us we had a half day at work till Thursday afternoon so I had to buy an expensive ticket home that was later in the day. I got to the airport a few hours early and decided to go to the overpriced sports bar there. An older black man from Mississippi named Bill ( He pronounced it " Beal ") sat next to me and started talking to me about how he was flying home for his sister's funeral . She died of cancer of the liver. "Beal" told me if you want to make God laugh , tell him your plans. I stepped up the pace on drinking my beer as I got kind of weary of talking to Beal. I shook his hand , told him again that I was sorry for his loss, grabbed my bag and headed toward my gate.

Another weird dream last night . I was walking around with the actor Bill Murray in what looked like Los Angeles covered in orange glowing flames.The same color coal turns when they are nice and lit. Bill and I were walking along the 405 freeway looking out on all the buildings and hillsides on fire. People had abandoned their cars on the road so it was just Bill and I walking on the freeway . It reminded me of that movie “I am Legend” but everything was on fire.

At one point I looked over and saw the silhouette of a child hugging his mother. I remember I started tearing up but not sure exactly why. Bill Murray was looking at me like “ What is wrong with him?” He tried to be nice about it but I could tell he thought I was a softy.

This dream was significant because I never remember my dreams nor do I dream about Bill Murray ever.

I went to lunch with a couple friends from work the other week. A couple people from a music house treated us. They ordered oysters and shrimp for the table and then informed us they did not want any so my friends and I went to work on some delicious oysters and a big ass shrimp cocktail . The horseradish was fresh and stung the nostrils. I put too much on the first time and thought I’d learn for the next time but instead I kept piling on sinus clearing horseradish. We had a great lunch and convinced people I taught a spinning class in my free time. I had a burger . It tickled my taste buds.

On our way out of the restaurant a bus boy stopped me and smiled. I thought it was odd but was like maybe he is just a friendly dude. He looked at me and smiled “you work near here..I know you..” I replied “ Hmm kind of near here “. I had remembered that I was working in that area a while back and maybe he had recognized me from then. With a smile on his face he said “ You know Nacho...” It wasn’t a question but a statement. “ Ignacio....You’re Ignacio’s friend.”

I wasn’t sure who Ignacio was but I was friends with a small Mexican man named Nacho a few years back when I worked in a small restaurant. He spoke of his days as a musician in Mexico. He was a very nice man. Quite small and round like a bowling ball. I told him I played music too and he would ask if I wanted to jam with him sometime. I never did but always thought I should have just done it for the hell of it. I am pretty sure it wasn't the same Nacho that the bus boy was referring to and I didn't really feel like going into the kitchen to check because I am not even sure what I would do if it was the same Nacho. But somewhere in the back of my mind I imagined it was the same Nacho and that our short friendship was pleasantly memorable to him.


I love this song..

I gave up soda for lent recently. It's kind of a cop out because I don't drink all that much soda. I usually have one diet soda with my lunch but then again I guess one soda a day for 40 days does add up.

It's still weird to me when you walk into the bathroom to use the urinal and there are really long pubes sitting on the base of the urinal. It's really gross to see and it also begs the question of why does this person have such long pubes. I don't think it complements a persons body nor do I find any sort of cool alternative health reason to have them unless it's really cold out I guess.

Maybe it was an old guy. Old guys don't care about this stuff as much. They don't need to look good for anyone anymore. They had their time to be suave and impress the ladies. It's time to grow hair and walk around the local gym locker room naked having full-on conversations with other old guys.

Not sure where this is going or where it came from...But here are some my favorite of favorite music tracks I am listening too.

Is it weird that I am googling "How to blow off steam" .